I wanted a second child and therefore it became fact.
My pregnancy was fine and all went well. I was very happy to have a second baby as having my first was the most wonderful thing ever in my life. I wanted to have a second baby not only for myself but for (as it turns out)HER big sister. I wanted Dana to have what I never had; a sister.
I have an older brother but he is five years older than me and never much of a playmate. I don't remember having him as a friend and playmate ever. I do remember him as an abuser along with my mother.
Anyways, my second pregnancy went along fine and when time came to head to the hospital, I was happy that very soon I would have my second 'love of my life'.
We (hubby and me) called the doctors office and headed to Los Banos. When we arrived at the hospital, we called my mother, and even though I didn't get along with her, I wanted her with me during birth. She had been with me with during the first birth and that had gone ok so I wanted her with me this time as well.
When my doctor found out I was at the hospital he showed up there to tell me he would not be helping me with the birth. He said he had to go to Turlock to court. I didn't like it that he wouldn't be with me for the birth but thought he had taken care for a substitute doctor to deliver. He had, he had asked Dr. Mevi to cover for him.
I had never met Mevi but felt that my own doctor was responsilbe and wouldn't leave me in the hands of anyone less than good. After all, Dr. Smith had helped me after the birth of my oldest to lose 50 pounds with Anbar. (Oh, yeah, I just found out with-in the last month that Jack Ruby was on Anbar.) hmmmmm
I was in labor and didn't really realize the implications of what was going on around me as I wasn't aware of all the politics involved in having a baby. (That's the only way I can describe what I figured out later....... POLITICS.)
You see, there was another doctor on call at the hospital that I wasn't aware of.
Dr. Bermudez was the doctor on call.
What I didn't know is that Dr. Bermudez and Dr. Smith (my so-called doctor) were in a lawsuit and Dr. Bermudez was not taking any of Dr. Smith's patients even though he was on call. .........go figure, eh? What the hell did I know?
Anyways as my labor progressed and I got down to the bearing down stage I told the nurse to call Dr. Mevi. (The nurse's name was Miss Johnson and she had no children, k?)
I told her again to call the doctor but she thought she knew more than me and told me it wasn't time yet. hmmmmmmmm.
I went into the final stages and the nurse (dumb bitch) finally called Dr. Mevi. She had however waited too long as Dr. Mevi lived out in the country and it was quite a drive into town.
My mother was watching me and she knew I was going to have the baby. She told me there was a doctor in the hospital and I told her to get him into delivery as I knew from my first child that it wouldn't be long. The baby started crowning not long after my mother ran out the door to talk to Bermudez. He couldn't deliver the baby he told my mother because of the lawsuit. (I was to find all of this out later)
While my mother was out of the room the nurse started holding my legs together and I started screaming as loud as I could as I knew I was in deep shit. My mother was to tell me later that Dr. Bermudez was with her when I screamed out and he decided to come in and deliver when he heard the urgency in my voice regardless of the suit. (Thank God for him.)
I will never really know what happened but Dr. Bermudez delivered my baby and not five minutes afterwards in walked Dr. Smith. Matter of fact, Dr. Smith arrived before Dr. Mevi.
I will tell you that Dr. Smith didn't have time to get to Turlock and back much less attend court.
All righty then, you might think the story is over but NOT!!!
When a different nurse brought the baby to me she was wrapped in a blanket that felt like it had tons of detergent still in it. (I later noticed the baby had a horrible red rash all over her and to this day think it was from those icky blankets.)
I was sent home the next day and I was in a terrible state of mind.
I started going over and over the ordeal and I knew there was something fishy. I decided I would not go back to Dr. Smith.
I went by his office and asked for my records and low and behold, they had been misplaced. hmmmmmmmmmmm
I was in a terrible state of mind and I wasn't much good to either of my girls but I hung in there thinking I would heal.
I did heal physically and I did have another doctor that I went to but my mind was shot. I fanticized about buying a gun and shooting Dr. Smith. I swear I spent hour after hour trying to figure a way to take him out. I even told my husband my thoughts as protection to make sure someone would be aware of my thinking.
I cried and found it difficult to nurse the baby. I kept imagining that she was my oldest child and when my oldest daughter was around I was in complete confusion. When I would hold the baby I would run my fingers over her face and try and find a spot on her face....... my oldest daughter has a mole and I was searching my baby's face for it.
My husband didn't know what to think and he started staying later and later at work as he didn't know what the hell to do with me. I cried and cried and I couldn't converse in any manner and it was as if I had lost all accounting of life in a normal way.
Dr. Pariah had been in the same office with Dr. Smith but had recently moved out so I started going to him. (He kissed me one day when I was alone in the room with him and that totally flipped me out????????) I swear to God, I'm not making any of this up......... not even the name. I'll put definition of Pariah at the end of this post so you will know how crazy my whole life has been.
I contemplated for quite a while that I would sue Dr. Smith but without my records and without my mind, that plan fell by the way side.
I tried to get on with my life and put the terrible ordeal behind me but it was impossible with my husband spending so much time at work and not talking to me when he was home. (I now know that he didn't know what to do to help me and he wanted to avoid all the tears and craziness.)
It must have been about seven weeks after the birth that I packed up all of my clothes and the kids things and drove over to my husband's work. It was about 8:00 PM and I was determined to have a show down.
He came out to the car and saw the suitcases and decided then and there to take time off from work. How do you suppose I felt? He hadn't had the job very long and he simply walked in and told his boss he was taking off. He didn't know till he got back after a week that he still had a job. (All because of his lunatic wife, eh?)
I finally started to feel that I might survive after all and life started getting better and then one day my husband came home for lunch and as usual he was ignoring me. He had promised months before the birth that he would remodel the kitchen and I wanted to know where the plans stood.
He ignored me totally as if I wasn't even there and I walked over and slapped him on the back to get his attention.
He turned around just as my oldest daughter walked up to him to keep him calm and he knocked her clear across the kitchen. (It is a big kitchen too and she slammed against the wall.)
I went into such a rage that he would touch one of my kids I got in his face and told him I would kill him if he EVER touched one of my kids again.
I'm not denying that I was to blame for some of what was going on but I was still in a really bad place from the birth and the trip and him never coming home. I must admit I was probably insane for quite a while after my second baby.
Matter of fact, I'm probably still a bit nuts after all the crap I've been through in this life. Even after all of it, I know that I've had a better life than the majority of women out in the world. I always think of Cindy Sheehan and Mary Tillman when I have a bad moment and know that I've endured far less than they.
Oh yeah, the hospital where I had my baby was the same one where my first husband's second wife died.......... she got an infection at the hospital and it killed her.
My ex-sister-in-law died about two months ago from an infection she got in the hospital in Fresno, Ca.
John F. Mevi, M.D.
400 West I Street
Los Banos , CA 93635
(209) 826-3200 ($95.00)
No drop-ins. New and existing patients must call for appointment.
http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/pariah
A social outcast: "Shortly Tom came upon the juvenile pariah of the village, Huckleberry Finn, son of the town drunkard" (Mark Twain).
An Untouchable.
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ETYMOLOGY:
Tamil paaiyar, pl. of paaiyan, pariah caste, from paai, festival drum
WORD HISTORY:
The word pariah, which can be used for anyone who is a social outcast, independent of social position, recalls a much more rigid social system, which made only certain people pariahs. The caste system of India placed pariahs, also known as Untouchables, very low in society. The word pariah, which we have extended in meaning, came into English from Tamil paaiyar, the plural of paaiyan, the caste name, which literally means "(hereditary) drummer" and comes from the word paai, the name of a drum used at certain festivals. The word is first recorded in English in 1613. Its use in English and its extension in meaning probably owe much to the long period of British rule in India.
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